I miss you
by UndressTheseBeautifulLies
Summary: The final battle. Everyone breathed a sigh of relief knowing it was a vision. But what if it wasn't? What if your favourite witch twins were torn apart?


_Say Alice's vision in BDP2, wasn't a vision. Alec died, but Jane lived._

I can't remember _anything._ It's like my memory has just been...wiped out. All I know is that he's not here, and I don't know why. I miss him so much. It's like my unbeating heart is chipping away every second I live. Who am I kidding? This isn't _living._ I feel like I can't breathe constantly.

You're gone. That's all I know. I don't remember how. I don't remember _when. _I barely remember you.

Why can't I remember you! Damn it, I just want you! I want you, only you, just, even if only for a second, just to remember what you smell like, _please. _I just want to say "I love you" one more time. I really mean it, Brother. Why didn't I say it more often? Why didn't I hug you every chance I got?

Please come back. I'm begging you. Try. If you really, really try, maybe you can. They keep watching me. I'm too valuable to lose. I _want_ to be lost. I need to get away from this torture. This God-awful place. I can't do it without you. I've tried.

They brought _Bella Cullen_ in yesterday. I think it was because I'm not letting anyone near me. Especially not the wives. Guess what, Alec? They're finally out of the tower. They're trying to baby me. They do not like it one bit when I use my power on them. It makes them yell out in Spanish. If you were here we'd laugh. But you're not, and so it's not funny. Anyway. She came in with that brat she calls her daughter, and worriedly looked at the other guards. I think it's because I was on the floor. The place you used to read to me. You know where. You can't have forgotten. You remember me, don't you? I think I'd die if you didn't. Figuratively. Seeing that brat made me remember a little. I don't want to remember anymore. Please make it stop.

The little girl had the audacity to run over to me, and to touch my face with her chubby little hand. I didn't have the heart to hurt her - Bella's shield rendered me useless anyway - so I just sat still.

_Suddenly I'm transported to Aro's birthday. I think he made the date up, but we bought him something and dressed up anyway. All of our acquaintances are there. I am excited, because it's a party, and it's one of the only ones I can ever remember having. I wore a blue dress, and Alec wore a gray suit with a matching blue tie. I have a stupid corsage around my wrist, and I'm holding Alec's hand, bobbing up and down, watching for our guests. The Cullen's walk in, all of them, Bella and Edward, Carlisle and Esme, Emmett and Rosalie, Jasper and Alice. And the little girl. Before she caused me so much pain, I actually LIKED her. I liked a little kid. _

_She bounds up to me, followed closely by her mother. I smile at her, and nod. "Hi, Renesmee. How are you?" Bella takes a moment to compose herself, giving a wary glance at Jasper, who gives a tiny nod of his head to show I am not dangerous. Edward does the same. I force a smile out for Bella, and start talking to Renesmee. _

_"I'm good, thank you," she says, grinning. "Who are you?" I smile. _

_"I am Jane," I say. "And this is my brother, Alec." Alec gives a little wave for her, looking around hopelessly for someone else to talk to. I tug his hand. _

_"Jane...Jane rhymes with-" _

_"Renesmee..." Bella mutters, in a warning voice, looking over the top of my head. _

_"Pain." I finish. "Alec doesn't rhyme with anything. Do you like poems?" She nods enthusiastically. _

_"Nessie doesn't rhyme with anything either!" She says. "Mommy's name rhymes with fella!" I suppress a giggle. I don't think Bella is very ladylike. "Do you have a power?" Bella flinches. _

_"Don't plague Jane, sweetheart."_

_"Momma! Let me ask!" _

_"Yes," I say, "Alec does too." _

_"Show me! Show me!" I raise my eyebrows, but grin at her. _

_"Let me see for someone I can try it on..."_

_"Daddy!" Nessie bounces, grabbing Edward. I frown a little, trying to not laugh. _

_"I don't think that's the best idea..." _

_"Daddy, please?" Nessie's bottom lip quivers, and he lets in. _

_"Not too much..."I nod, smiling a little evilly. I concentrate on not scaring her, because I'm not _that_ bad. I give him the smallest dose possible, and he flinches, but smiles at me. _

_"What was it, Daddy?" _

_"Illusion...of pain," he hedges. "Alec's one might be more up your street." _

_"What is it?" _

_"It takes all your senses away. Nessie, tell me your five senses." _

_"Sight, hearing, touch, taste, smell!" She announces proudly. "Can I try it, Daddy, please?" _

_"Nessie, it's not nice," Bella warns. I can see a temper tantrum brewing. "But if you really insist, and Alec is okay with it, then fine. You just say stop, okay?" Nessie grins. Alec scratches his neck. _

_"Can I just take away one sense? I think it'll frighten her." Bella nods. "Which one?" _

_"Mmm...sight!" Alec's dark mist descends. Nessie soon is spinning round dizzily, laughing. "Okay, you can stop now!" The mist is retracted, and Nessie bounds off to be with someone else. I share a smile with Alec, and we walk off, hand in hand. _

I flinch, and when I'm back to reality, I'm sobbing. Full blown sniffling. Bella looks at the wives, shaking her head in disgust. "Do you not see what I see? A frightened, lonely little girl!" She shouts. "I'm certainly not shielding you so you can torture her!" She looks at me, like I'm Renesmee's age. I can't help staring back. "Jane..." she trails off. "You can't stay here."

Without my consent, my mouth turns into a pout. "I can't leave. Can't you see? I can never leave." I close my eyes and rest my head on my knees. "He needs me."

"He's gone." She hesitates. "Jane, he's gone." I take a deep breath.

"No." I say. It mostly comes out as a rush of air. She shakes her head, and leaves. I rock myself, my eyes closed. #

You can't be _gone. _

But you are. I love you. Still, I mean. Forever.

You're gone. I wish I was, too. I just want to be wherever you are. Please.

I miss you. Wherever you are, I hope you're safe. Happy. Happy, without me. I can never be happy again. Not without you.

This is life now. And without you, it's not even worth living.


End file.
